10 Things No One Tells You About Your Wedding Night

Rachel Miller · July 14, 2022 · 3 min read

10 Things No One Tells You About Your Wedding Night

As your wedding day nears, you're likely to get a lot of winks and nudges about your wedding night. But the reality is, the wedding night isn't always filled with oh-so-romantic and totally life-changing lovemaking. Here are 10 super common (and not terribly sexy) scenarios you might experience on your wedding night.

1. You will be starving. 

A lot of couples don't get to eat at their reception, so once the adrenaline of the day wears off, hitting the drive-thru or ordering room service is going to sound amazing.

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2. You might be really sad.

Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash
Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash

3. Or really drunk.

Or really drunk AND sad. 

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4. You may be in the early stages of a hangover. 

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5. You'll probably need a moment to change out of your shapewear and into your sexy lingerie.

Because on your wedding day, you're going to be all about function over form.

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6. And if your dress has a million buttons or hooks, removing it probably won't be all that sexy.

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7. If you rock an updo, you'll probably take it partially down before getting bored and giving up.

Also, your room will be scattered with bobby pins, not rose petals.

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8. You might not get any privacy.

Anyone from the hotel staff to your siblings might decide they really need your attention at that moment.

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9. There could be major mishaps.

We've heard a surprising number of stories from couples who've spent their wedding night in the emergency room.

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10. You will be exhausted.

This is incredibly common. But your wedding day is a really long day; don't feel bad if all you want to do is pass out the second the party's over.

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