7 Things that Seem Like a Big Deal While Wedding Planning But Aren't

The second you have a ring on your finger, you’ll be flooded with questions from your friends, family, aunts, cousins, and basically anyone else within earshot. The pressure is on even if you haven’t started planning yet. Although asking for the date is usually the first (valid) question, there are so many other elements people will ask about—or offer advice for—that just don’t need to be a priority.

We should note, there may be things on this list that you do care about, and that’s great! Planning a wedding is (and should be) extremely personal, so recognizing what matters most to you is important. After all, and you’ll hear it over and over, it’s your day. At any rate, take this list as a gentle encouragement to take a moment to destress and remind yourself not to sweat the small(ish) stuff.

Well, we said it... You don’t need to find the cutest, most clever hashtag to have a great wedding. If you’ve already spent weeks unsuccessfully brainstorming a cheeky hashtag that perfectly combines your last names, give yourself a break! If you really want a unique hashtag, something simple (a combo of names and locations) that hasn’t been used before will suffice. Otherwise, it’s not a big deal to skip the wedding hashtag altogether. Guests who take candid photos throughout the day will surely tag you on Instagram—and many wouldn’t even end up using your hashtag anyway!

There’s an argument out there somewhere about how wedding invitation stationery sets the tone for your wedding day. Though that may be true, to be honest, we can’t recall a time we sat at a wedding and questioned whether the floral arrangements matched the ones on the invitation. There are other places to splurge when planning a wedding, and fretting about paperweights, glosses, and custom stamps may not be worth it in the end—and they get pricey fast.

BONUS TIP: Digital RSVPs are becoming more and more popular. And for good reason: They allow people a bit more time to decide (especially during COVID), you can track guests in real time, and you’ll cut your postage in half! Mailed invites are still nice to send out, but the RSVP can definitely be virtual. Guilt-free.

Don’t get us wrong here—the taste is definitely important! We’re talking more about the fancy cake embellishments. Think, over-the-top toppers and piles of fresh flowers as decor. After it’s eaten, you won’t really think about what it looked like. Sure, you get a cake-cutting photo, but is that one you’ll blow up and frame on your wall forever? Probably not (unless you really like dessert, which we’d understand).

Although this is another one of those all-eyes-on-you moments, you need to trust us on this: Not a single guest will critique you for being offbeat or out-of-step during your first dance. So much of wedding planning is obsessing over the details, but your first dance shouldn’t be one of them. Instead, it should be a fun, special moment where the two of you can forget about everyone else in the room.

If one or both of you have dance experience and want to plan something ahead of time, awesome! But if prepping for this dance means dragging an unwilling partner to multiple weeks of dance lessons, it’s probably not going to be fun for either of you. Just choose a song that represents your love, and you’ll figure out the rest when the music starts.

We all have a drawer full of can koozies with random wedding dates on them, don’t we? (Not that koozies aren’t a nice thing to have!) Unless you have a specific idea that’s a fun, personal touch about you and your future spouse, party favors are something not to majorly sweat. People RSVP “yes” to your wedding to watch you say “I do,” and then celebrate with you for the rest of the day... They won’t worry about whether they get to take bubbles or a bag of custom candy home, too. (But, sure, if you feel like it those could be nice!)

This is another one that Pinterest has completely taken over. Are custom cocktails fun and memorable? Absolutely! If you have an all-time favorite drink (that would also be a crowd-favorite) go all out. But if you’re deep-scrolling Pinterest weighing the pros and cons of a Bridal Bellini or a Just Married Martini, this might be a good piece to let go of.

As for the appetizers, no one will complain about classic fruit and veggie or meat and cheese trays. And everyone loves a pizza delivery when the dance floor has a few hours left and dinner starts to wear off. When you plan, you’ll find there are places to splurge and places to save. We’re here to tell you that food can still taste good without costing a fortune.

This last one is controversial, and it’s a completely personal preference. If selecting bridesmaids has you worried about hurting someone’s feelings or if pondering the order they will walk down the aisle stresses you out, don’t pick any at all. Your day is made even better by having your favorite people there with you—and that includes everyone in the audience! Choose your wedding party from the heart, or choose not to have any at all. It’s completely up to you.

If you do select a group of your closest friends to stand with you, try to keep things simple, for their sake and yours! Sure, matching floral robes or flannels can be a cute photo-op while you’re getting ready, but again, is that a photo you’ll look at often? You’ll probably frame the ones in your gowns instead!

Ultimately, all of this planning comes down to one day.

If planning the extravagant cake or creating a signature cocktail will bring you happiness, embrace it! If you want to skip a formal invitation and do an evite, more power to you! Bottom line? All that really matters is the love you’re celebrating. Everything else is secondary.