How to Deal With an OMG MOH
07 Jan 2022 •3 min read
Is your maid of honor ( MOH) falling seriously short of expectations? From refusing to help with the big day details to even blowing off your wedding itself (yikes!), here are some of the most common OMG MOH moments and how to deal...
She’s ghosting you.
If your MOH isn’t answering your calls, texts, or e-mails when you need help, you’re definitely justified in being upset. After all, she’s likely your best friend, and she should be there to lend support wherever she can. If you need help immediately, ask one of your bridesmaids or family members if they can pitch in or give their opinion. The next time you’re able to get in touch with your maid of honor, politely confront her and tell her it’s concerning and hurtful that she isn’t making herself available. Just don’t go all Bridezilla on her – stay calm!
She hates the MOH dress and she’s not afraid to say it.
Ok, so you’ve got a few options here. If there’s room to compromise, try to understand what it is that she doesn’t like about your pick and discuss whether or not there’s another option that you’ll both be happy with. Maybe the dress is available in a modified style that she’s more comfortable in or maybe there’s a similar dress at a lower price point. However, if you have your heart set on the dress and there’s no wiggle room, kindly remind her that it’s your big day and this is the dress that fits your vision. Hopefully, by reminding her how much the dress means to you, she’ll come around.
She’s totally negligent in planning the shower and bachelorette party.
It’s an absolute bummer when your MOH is not respecting her responsibilities in the role. First, make sure that she knows it’s commonplace for the maid of honor to plan a shower and coordinate the bachelorette party. If you don’t feel comfortable telling her, ask a mutual friend or another bridesmaid if he or she can speak with her. If your MOH still isn’t making any plans, you’ll have to ask your other bridesmaids or groomsmen if they can all join forces to lend a hand.
She complains about the cost of everything.
Unfortunately, being in a wedding can be expensive. If you’re comfortable with it, you can offer to help alleviate some of the cost as an MOH gift – like purchasing her dress or treating her to hair and makeup. If your maid of honor is still complaining, it’s best to confront her and tell her that it makes you upset when she brings up how much everything costs. She’ll likely understand and find another way to vent.
She doesn’t want to give a toast during your reception.
Whether she’s shy or she just doesn’t want to speak, it can be frustrating if your MOH isn’t down to give a speech. First, ask if she’d be okay doing a joint speech with another bridesmaid or groomsman to take some of the pressure off. If she still says no, you can ask a bridesmaid, groomsman, or a family member to give a toast instead.
She doesn't show up on your wedding day.
This one is an absolute nightmare. If for some reason your MOH doesn't show up on your big day, it's important to stay as calm as possible. You're going to be devastated, but try not to let it get to you. Logistically speaking, you'll need to let your ceremony coordinator or planner know about the change to the processional. You'll also need to ask another one of your pals to fill in as a witness to sign your marriage certificate or to hold your bouquet during the ceremony. Inform your photographer of the change so he or she can better plan how to tackle the portraits sans one of your bridal party members. It's fine to feel hurt if this happens, and you should ask for help from friends and family to get you through the day. After the wedding, you can reach out to your ex-MOH to talk to her about the situation, but it's best try not to contact her during the event as it will only make you more frustrated.