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General Advice

Hyphenated Last Name After Marriage: How to Hyphenate Properly

by Loverly Team 19 Mar 2025 •8 min read
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To hyphenate or not to hyphenate your last name—that is the question. It’s not just about combining names—it’s about identity, tradition, and sometimes even practicality. If you’ve ever wondered, how hyphenated last names work, you’re not alone. Many couples today are exploring this option as a way to honor both partners’ identities while creating something new together.
But before you dive into the world of hyphenated surnames, there’s a lot to consider. From the legal steps to the emotional impact, this guide will walk you through everything you need to know about hyphenating your last name after marriage. Whether you’re curious about the proper way to hyphenate your last name or weighing the pros and cons of changing your last name, we’ve got you covered.

What Is a Hyphenated Last Name?

A hyphenated surname is exactly what it sounds like: two last names joined by a hyphen. For example, if Emily Smith marries Alex Johnson, she might become Emily Smith-Johnson. This option allows both partners to keep their original last names while creating a shared family name.
Hyphenating your last name can be a meaningful way to honor both families and maintain your individual identity. However, it’s not without its challenges. Some people love the idea of blending names, while others find it cumbersome or complicated. As you consider this option, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons of changing your name after marriage to decide if it’s the right choice for you.

Can I Hyphenate My Last Name Without Legally Changing It?

Yes, you can hyphenate your last name informally without making it legal. You could use a hyphenated name socially or professionally while keeping your original name on legal documents. However, if you want your hyphenated name to be recognized officially, you’ll need to go through the legal name change process.
This typically involves updating your name with government agencies, financial institutions, and other organizations. While it’s not required to legally change your name to use a hyphenated version, doing so ensures consistency across all areas of your life.

Should I Hyphenate My Last Name?

Should you hyphenate your last name? That's a deeply personal choice. For some, it’s a way to honor both partners’ heritage and create a sense of unity. For others, it might feel unnecessary or overly complicated. There’s no right or wrong answer—it comes down to what feels right for you both. To help you make an informed decision, let’s break down the pros and cons of hyphenating your last name.

Pros & Cons of Hyphenating Your Last Name

Let's take a look at the advantages and disadvantages:

Pros

  1. Honors Both Families: A hyphenated last name is a way to keep ties to both your family and your partner’s family. For example, if your last name is Martinez and your partner’s is O’Connor, becoming Martinez-O’Connor lets you honor both sides. This can feel especially meaningful if you’re close to your family or want to carry on your family name.
  2. Maintains Your Identity: If you’ve always been proud of your last name or have built a strong sense of identity around it, hyphenating lets you keep it while adding your partner’s name. It’s a way to say, “This is still me, but now I’m also part of something new.”
  3. Creates Equality: Hyphenating can feel like a fair compromise, especially if both you and your partner want to share a last name but don’t want one person to give up their name entirely. It’s a modern way to show that your marriage is a partnership of equals.
  4. Professional Recognition: If you’ve built a career or reputation under your maiden name, hyphenating lets you keep that recognition. For example, if you’re a writer, artist, or business owner, your name might already be well-known in your field. Hyphenating allows you to maintain that connection while still embracing your new marital identity.
  5. Unique & Modern: A hyphenated last name can feel fresh and contemporary. It’s a way to break from tradition and create something that feels uniquely yours. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter!

Cons

  1. Lengthy & Cumbersome: Let’s face it—hyphenated names can be long. If your last name is already on the longer side, adding another name might make it feel unwieldy. For example, “Elizabeth Rodriguez-Santos” is a mouthful! It might not fit on forms, official documents, or even social media handles.
  2. Confusion for Others: Some people might struggle to remember or spell your hyphenated name. You might find yourself constantly explaining, “Yes, it’s Smith-Davis, with a hyphen.” Over time, this can get a little frustrating, especially if people shorten it or drop one of the names without asking.
  3. Future Generations: If you and your partner decide to hyphenate your last names, what happens if your children also want to hyphenate their names? For example, if your child marries someone with a hyphenated name, their last name could end up being something like “Smith-Davis-Jones-Wilson.” It’s something to think about if you’re planning to start a family.
  4. Legal Hassles: Changing your name legally can be a bit of a headache. You’ll need to update your Social Security card, driver’s license, passport, bank accounts, and more. Each step takes time, and some organizations might require extra paperwork or fees. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely a process.
  5. Potential for Miscommunication: Not all systems or organizations are set up to handle hyphenated names. You might run into issues where your name gets cut off, the hyphen is dropped, or one of the names is mistaken for a middle name. This can lead to errors or confusion, especially with things like travel reservations or legal documents.
At the end of the day, the decision to hyphenate your last name is a personal one. It’s about finding a balance between honoring your past, embracing your future, and navigating the practicalities of everyday life. If you’re someone who values tradition but also wants to keep your identity intact, hyphenating might be the perfect solution. On the other hand, if you’re worried about the hassle or the potential for confusion, you might decide it’s not the right fit for you.
The good news? There’s no rush to decide. Take your time, talk it over with your partner, and explore all your options. Whether you choose to hyphenate, keep your name, or try something completely different, the most important thing is that it feels right for you.

Alternatives to a Hyphenated Name

1. Keep Your Maiden Name
Many couples choose to keep their original last names without making any changes. This option is simple and straightforward and allows both partners to maintain their individual identities.
  • Why It Works: If you’ve built a career, reputation, or personal brand under your maiden name, keeping it can feel like the most natural choice. It’s also a great option if you’re deeply attached to your family name or want to avoid the hassle of a legal name change.
  • Things to Consider: Some people worry that keeping separate last names might make things confusing for future children or feel less “unified” as a couple. However, many families make this work beautifully by giving children one parent’s last name or hyphenating their names.
2. Take Your Spouse’s Name
This is the traditional route, where one partner takes the other’s last name. It’s a classic choice that can create a sense of unity and tradition.
  • Why It Works: Taking your spouse’s name can feel like a meaningful way to start your new life together. It’s also simpler in terms of paperwork and avoids the potential complications of a hyphenated name.
  • Things to Consider: If you’re attached to your maiden name, giving it up might feel like losing a part of your identity. Some couples also feel that this option leans too heavily on tradition, especially if only one partner is expected to change their name.
3. Move Your Maiden Name to Your Middle Name
This creative option involves dropping your current middle name (if you have one) and replacing it with your maiden name. For example, if your name is Emily Grace Smith and you marry Alex Johnson, you could become Emily Smith Johnson.
  • Why It Works: This lets you keep your maiden name in some form while still taking your spouse’s last name. It’s a subtle way to honor your family and maintain a connection to your identity.
  • Things to Consider: Not everyone has a middle name to replace, and some people are attached to their middle name. Additionally, this still requires a legal name change, so you’ll need to go through the same paperwork as you would for hyphenating.

How to Hyphenate Last Name After Marriage

The proper way to hyphenate last name involves more than just adding a hyphen. First, decide on the hyphenated last name order—will your maiden name come first, or your partner’s? There’s no strict rule on this, but many people choose to put their original name first.
Once you’ve decided, you’ll need to legally change your name. This process varies by state but generally includes:
  1. Marriage Certificate: Your marriage license serves as proof of your name change.
  2. Social Security Card: Update your name with the Social Security Administration.
  3. Driver’s License: Visit your local DMV to update your license.
  4. Other Documents: Notify banks, employers, and other organizations of your new name.
Keep in mind that how much it costs to change your name after marriage can vary. Fees for updated documents and processing can add up, so budget accordingly.

Key Takeaways on Hyphenated Names

Deciding to hyphenate your name is a big decision, but it can be a beautiful way to honor both your identity and your partner’s. Here are the key points to remember:
  • A hyphenated surname combines two last names with a hyphen, creating a shared family name that reflects both partners’ identities.
  • You can hyphenate your name informally for social or professional use, but legal recognition requires updating official documents like your passport, driver’s license, and Social Security card.
  • Before making a decision, weigh the pros and cons of changing name after marriage. Think about how it will impact your daily life, career, and future family plans.
If you’re concerned about having a last name than your children, this is something to discuss with your partner. Some couples choose to give their children a hyphenated last name as well, while others opt for a single surname. There’s no right or wrong answer—just what works best for your family.
Tips for Hyphenating Your Last Name
  • Start Early: Begin the name change process as soon as possible after your wedding to avoid delays.
  • Keep Records: Make copies of all your documents before and after the name change.
  • Be Patient: The process can take time, so be prepared for some waiting.
If you’re thinking about a new last name or a new hyphenated name, and you don't know what to do legally after getting married, there are steps to take. Figuring out how to legally change your name after marriage usually starts with updating your Social Security card, then your driver’s license, and finally other important documents like your passport and bank accounts. It might feel like a lot of paperwork, but it’s all part of making your new name official.
Remember, there’s no rush—take your time and do what feels right for you and your partner. Happy planning!

FAQs

After the wedding, there are several things to change after marriage if you are looking to hyphenate your last name. Check out the most frequently asked question when it comes to hyphenation.

Is a Hyphenated Last Name Disrespectful?

Not at all! A hyphenated last name etiquette is about personal choice and respect for both partners. It’s a modern way to honor both families and create a shared identity.

If I Hyphenate My Last Name, Can I Use Either?

Yes, you can choose to use either part of your hyphenated name in casual settings. However, for legal purposes, you’ll need to use the full hyphenated name.

Can You Have Two Last Names with a Space Instead?

While some people use two last names without a hyphen, this can lead to problems with two last names, such as confusion or errors in official records. A hyphenated last name vs two last names is often clearer and more widely recognized.

When Hyphenating Names, Which Goes First?

The order is up to you! Some people choose to put their maiden name first or last based on personal preference. There’s no strict rule for hyphenated name order, so go with what feels right.
Hyphenating your last name is a meaningful way to celebrate your marriage while honoring your individual identity. Whether you choose to hyphenate, keep your name, or explore other options, the most important thing is to make a decision that feels right for you. Happy planning!
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