How to Deal When All Your Friends Are Getting Married And You're Not

Wedding season can be a total blast...but it can also be a bummer for people who aren't engaged, married or even dating anyone. Yes, you're excited for your friends, but sometimes you can't help but wonder when it'll be your turn. We've been there. We get it. So if all the save-the-dates are getting to you, here are our tips for dealing with all those feelings your feeling.

How to Deal When All Your Friends Are Getting Married And You’re Not

You may know you’re ready for the ring…but what exactly is it about marriage that is important to you? Do a little soul-searching and decide if you just want the big party all your friends are having or if there’s more to it than that (we’re guessing there is). It can be good to articulate those reasons to your partner if you’re discussing your own wedding timeline, or just to remind yourself that wanting to be married isn’t silly or frivolous. (Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed and Stephanie Coontz’s Marriage: A History are two fantastic book to help you think about the reasons to get married.)

Pick out a killer new dress, get a blowout and a pedi, buy that new mascara you’ve been wanting to try…the point is to give yourself something to look forward to during wedding season! Feeling good about yourself can really help get you through the small talk, shower games, and awkward questions about when you’re getting engaged.

Look, you don’t have to love weddings as much as we do, but we hope you can agree that they are often beautiful rituals that mean a lot to those involved. So stop rolling your eyes about the Mason jars (does that really make you feel better?) and try to focus on the couple and their happiness.

Maybe 150 years ago, people had All the Feelings after reading ye olde engagement announcements in the newspaper…but our guess is the rise of the engagement ring selfie on Facebook has made things considerably harder for twenty somethings who are eager to get married. If you need to hide a few friends on FB or avoid your Instagram feed for a few days, that’s OK!

It’s completely understandable if you’re a little jealous of your friends’ weddings (or just the fact that they’ve found everlasting love). So own those feelings! If you’re feeling a little bummed that your BFF just got engaged, you can say to her, “I am so, SO excited for you, but to be honest, your engagement brings up some things I’m not happy with in my own life/relationship and so I’m trying to work through that. I’ll totally be here for you during the planning process, but I hope you can understand why sometimes I feel a bit bummed out!” You shouldn’t ask her to make huge accommodations for you, but it’s better to be up front about why you’re feeling a little sulky.

Listen: your life is awesome. We know that. You know that. Your marital status is such a small part of who you are, and while your future wedding sometimes feels like the most important thing, it’s not. At all. So focus on your amazing friends, your cool job, your sweet new puppy, or the cool person you just started dating who maybe will turn into something more. Enjoy your life for what it is now, and be patient with the process.