Wedding 101

How NOT To Be a Bridezilla

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While weddings can be stressful for everyone, even guests, no one has to endure stress quite like a bride. Hence the invention of the word “bridezilla,” which is the lovely cross between a bride and Godzilla, that crazed giant dinosaur type creature that likes to terrorize Japan... But here’s a little secret: You don’t have to be bridezilla. Nope. In fact, you can just get through this whole wedding planning and wedding day, and be totally stress-free. Don’t believe me? Well, I did it, so anyone can. Here’s how not to be a bridezilla: Photo by Gabriel Matula 

1. Realize that things will go wrong. 

In life, things go wrong. It rains when you want it to be sunny, a bridesmaid may have a death in her family the day before your wedding, and maybe the DJ will get drunk and fall off the stage. If you realize, from the beginning, that things might not go as planned, then you’ll be OK. 

2. Remember no one but you notices the details.

 If you freak the eff out because something isn’t the exact shade of blue you wanted or because the font on your invitations doesn’t hold up to what you thought it would be, it’s important to remind yourself that no one else is going to notice that; only you. So don’t stress, because whatever. 

3. Do not compare your wedding to anyone else’s. 

I find that a lot of my friends have compared their wedding to the weddings they’ve been to as guests – bad idea. Each wedding is just as individual as the person who’s getting married and when you compare your wedding to someone else’s you start to second-guess your ideas. Then that leads to stress. 

4. Ignore all unnecessary input. 

Nothing is more stressful that the input of others… and everyone (especially your future mother-in-law), will have their two cents on what you should do for your wedding. Ignore them. In fact, the second you get married, just make a pact with yourself to ignore 90 percent of the “help” that’s thrown your way.

5. Skip the bridal diet. 

Wanna really stress yourself out? Try to magically get down to a size 2 when your body is already awesome at a size 10. Planning a wedding is hard enough; don’t add to it by trying to makeover your body that doesn’t even need a makeover. 

6. Give yourself days off from the whole wedding thing. 

I realize in the midst of planning a wedding everything in your life becomes about the upcoming wedding, but it’s important to take time off from it. Say to yourself early on in the process that you’ll only devote two days a week to the planning. If you don’t give yourself time to breathe, you’ll let it consume you. 

7. Don’t give yourself a strict budget. 

I know that this sounds absurd, but hear me out. I didn’t have budget for my wedding. Not because my family is the richest family in all the world, but because budgets just add to stress. Instead, do your research. Check out what the average cost of things should be and figure out what you can afford step by step. Every once in awhile, check in and make sure things aren’t getting too out of hand.

8. Throw out the wedding planning timeline. 

When I picked up some wedding magazine shortly after I got engaged, I realized OMG! I’M GETTING MARRIED IN NINE MONTHS AND I’M WAY BEHIND ON THIS SCHEDULE! So I tossed it. Listen, you’re not an idiot. You can figure out when things should be booked by and how far in advance you should start looking at venues. And, hey, if the place you want is booked for the weekend you wanted, then try another weekend. Which leads us to… 

9. Be cool.

 In other words, be open to change. Be OK to the idea that you may not get the exact weekend that you wanted, the flowers you want won’t be in season when you get married, and that there will always be some bridesmaid who will refuse to wear the color you chose for the bridal party. Instead of freaking out, choose another weekend, find a similar flower (the world is full of beautiful flowers FYI), and tell your bridesmaid she can wear whatever the hell color she wants, if she stops throwing a fit about it. Besides, matching dresses are so boring. 

10. Remind yourself this is about having fun. 

When all is said and done, all anyone is going to remember is whether or not your wedding was fun. No one is going to remember how you wore your hair, what the centerpieces looked like, or how your “save the date” wasn’t sent when some silly wedding magazine told you it should have been sent. If you do the whole marriage thing right, you’ll only have one wedding, so make it a fun. And, whatever you do, don’t drink too much champagne. You want to be relaxed; but you also want to remember how much fun you and everyone else had.
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