The BFF's Guide to Giving Wedding Gifts

First things first: You do not have to purchase a gift for each and every gift-giving wedding event. Since you’ll be attending multiple celebrations, personal tokens (think stationery, initial jewelry, and photo books filled with your shared memories) are special and you may get more bang for your buck. But if you’re going to just buy a random gift, do consider something from the registry—they picked those items for a reason. 

The best line of defense is just being honest about your budget. Break down how much you can afford to spend between now and the wedding. Account for every party, shower, bachelorette shindig, and day off of work that will be required to cover both your wedding party bases. Then invite your bestie over for a glass of wine and set expectations that you’ll both feel good about. Modern rules dictate that cumulative gifts and the cost of getting to a wedding are also part of the wedding gift. Your friends will totally get (and appreciate) that.

If multiple gifts aren't in the budget, create a list of anything that you’re also willing to do task-wise—from hosting out-of-towners at your place to following up on vendor leads and sorting through contracts (jobs in an of themselves!) during the wedding planning phase. Offer your time, up front—that's priceless!

Another creative option—and this role is invaluable during all parts of wedding execution—is to play wrangler on a particular task. For example, if a couple is planning to hit the beaches of Waikiki for their trip, offer to research and organize their agenda—book surf lessons, read reviews and make a list of must-try restaurants (and ones to avoid), and create an agenda fun activities for them to do while they’re there. If you want to give a bigger gifts, split the cost of the Vitamix or Kitchen-Aid stand mixer with a few friends. The couple won’t care whether you paid for a huge expense alone; they'll just love that you helped make it happen. 

There's no reason to wait until the big day to write a fat check if it will help cover a major wedding expense that’s looming over the beloved couple’s heads. So if you know it will come in handy earlier, donate those airline and hotel points or drop off a card with some cash. You’d be surprised how appreciated (and personal!) cutting that check a bit early so they can put it toward flowers or a buddy gym memberships to beat pre-wedding stress will feel at a time when they could most use it. 

The little things add up. Covering a round of drinks to toast the engagement, cabs during the bachelorette weekend, and days off of work to help out during the engagement and prep period won’t (or rather, shouldn’t) go unnoticed. Your presence (not presents) are what’s going to get you all through this wedding. So spend it wisely!