10 Clear Signs You Shouldn’t Get Married (At Least Not Right Now)

Wedding planning can bring on a whirlwind of emotions—excitement, stress, joy, anxiety... and maybe even a few doubts. While it’s normal to feel a little nervous before walking down the aisle, there’s a difference between pre-wedding jitters and real red flags.

Whether you're deep in wedding planning mode or just dreaming about a future together, now is a good time to hit pause and ask yourself: Is this the person I want to build my life with? If you're unsure, you're not alone—and you're not doomed. It's better to confront those concerns before you say "I do."

Here are 10 telltale signs you might not be ready to get married—or that your partner simply isn’t marriage material. Let’s get into it.

If your dream future depends on your partner magically becoming more supportive, more ambitious, more responsible (or just less of a walking red flag), you need to ask yourself a tough question: Would you still choose them if they never changed?

Marriage isn’t a makeover show. If you're hoping that tying the knot will transform your partner into the ideal version of themselves, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Growth happens—but not on a timeline you control.

Let’s be crystal clear: "Jokes" that leave you feeling embarrassed, belittled, or hurt are not funny—and they’re not okay. If your partner regularly mocks you, gaslights you, or criticizes you under the guise of “just teasing,” that’s emotional disrespect. You deserve a partner who lifts you up, not one who makes you feel small. A loving relationship is built on mutual respect, kindness, and emotional safety.

Loneliness can cloud judgment, especially when it feels like everyone around you is engaged, married, or pregnant with their second kid. But rushing into marriage just to avoid being single rarely ends well.

Being married to the wrong person is a unique kind of lonely. If your partner doesn't truly make you feel seen, supported, and loved, holding out for the right one is worth the wait.

Your partner should love the real you—not a curated version you put on to keep the peace. If you find yourself pretending to like things you don’t, hiding parts of yourself, or walking on eggshells, that’s not sustainable.

Also, check in with how you feel about yourself when you're with them. Are you more anxious? Insecure? Irritable? Those feelings may be telling you something important.

Not everyone needs their mom’s stamp of approval to say "yes," but if your inner circle is sounding the alarm, it’s worth exploring why. Sometimes they can see things you can’t when you’re wearing love goggles. If multiple people who care about you have serious concerns about your relationship, it’s time to listen, not dismiss. Love isn’t blind... but sometimes it’s nearsighted.

How someone treats others (especially those who can't do anything for them) says everything about their character. If your partner talks down to servers, makes offensive jokes, or disrespects your friends or family, that’s a major warning sign. You want a partner who shows compassion and kindness—not one who thinks basic decency is optional.

Sure, relationships should challenge you to be your best self—but that’s different from feeling like you’re never measuring up. If your partner makes you feel like you need to change to earn their love, that's a toxic dynamic.

Your future spouse should love and accept you as you are, even as you both grow. If you’re always trying to prove your worth, take a step back and reevaluate.

Are you constantly checking their phone? Do they question your every move? Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, not constant suspicion and snooping.

If jealousy, secrecy, or control issues dominate your dynamic, that’s a serious red flag. In some cases, this kind of behavior crosses the line into emotional abuse.

Bottom line: If trust is broken before marriage, it won’t magically repair itself after the wedding.

Let’s be real: if you’ve been hinting (or flat-out asking) about marriage for years and your partner still gives you a vague “someday,” it’s time to stop waiting and start asking questions. It’s okay to want different things in life, but if you’re not aligned on something as major as marriage, no amount of love can close that gap.

Listen to your gut. Seriously. If something inside you whispers, “This isn’t right,” don’t ignore it. Too many people have walked down the aisle thinking, If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get divorced. That’s not the mindset you want going into a lifelong commitment. You deserve a marriage that feels like a partnership, not a gamble.

Marriage is a beautiful, meaningful commitment—but it’s also a big one. If you're feeling unsure, don’t push those feelings aside in the name of love, tradition, or social pressure.

Before you plan the wedding, plan the life. And make sure it’s a life that makes you feel secure, loved, and authentically you.

Remember: it's totally okay to press pause. Calling off a wedding or rethinking a proposal may feel scary in the moment, but it’s far braver—and healthier—than going through with something that doesn’t feel right.