8 Things NOT to Do Right After Getting Engaged

Featuring our Planning Posse
Got a fancy new rock on your finger? Congratulations are in order! An exciting time is ahead, and now that you’re engaged, you’ve got a lot to do. But while basking in the glow of your new relationship status, it can be easy to slip up on a few planning essentials and etiquette rules. Here are eight things to avoid doing right after you get engaged:

1. Asking people to join your wedding party. 

Even if you know your sister will be your maid of honor, there’s no reason to jump the gun on popping the question to the whole crew. Especially if you plan on a long engagement, you might lose touch or have a falling out with some friends that you’re BFFs with right now. Plus, a fast, over excited invitation could make it harder for people to say no if they can’t afford the responsibility.

2. Changing your Facebook relationship status right away. 

This isn’t high school — your engaged status is official even if your profile doesn’t say so. While a Facebook update is a great way to announce your news to acquaintances and old friends you’re not in touch with, it’s NOT a good idea to do this right away. What if your favorite cousin found out about your engagement from Facebook?

3. Starting to actually plan. 

There are some things you should think about, like what time of year you want to get married and where it will be. That high-level kind of stuff is okay, but there’s no need to start meeting with vendors or working out timelines. Simply enjoy engaged bliss—no stress yet!

4. Focusing only on yourself. 

If you’ve been dreaming of wearing a ring on your left hand for years, it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own fantasy coming true. But your engagement isn’t just about you—it’s about you and your fiancé! Swap out “I” for “we” whenever talking about your engagement.

5. Adding more new things on your plate.

Wedding planning will keep you busy, and marriage is a big adjustment. Simply put, you’ve got a lot on your plate. If possible, avoid even more big changes, like moving, buying a house, or adopting a pet (or at least give it some serious thought).

6. Saying yes to every offer. 

When you get engaged, your loved ones are immediately going to start offering suggestions. Your friend’s “Oh, I know this great photographer who did my cousin’s wedding,” and your grandma’s “Don’t go out and buy a big cake; I’ll bake it for you,” are kind-hearted, but don’t commit to anything right away. Just say something like, “Oh, wow! I haven’t even thought that far ahead yet, but thanks!”

7. Subtly bragging. 

While you’d probably never intentionally rave about how much your fiancé spent on your ring, subtle show off-iness is all too frequent. Stay sensitive to your single friends (saying “You’ll find someone soon!” probably isn’t helping), and keep details about spending under wraps.

8. Making your life all about your wedding. 

Getting engaged is incredibly exciting, and it’s definitely going to affect your life—you’re getting married, after all! But constantly obsessing over cakes, venues and catering will not only drive your friends and family crazy, but you’ll go insane, too. Prioritize wedding planning when necessary, but don’t forget about other important parts of your life.
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