Decoding Financial Etiquette: Expert, Lizzie Post, Answers Your Toughest Budget Questions

Ever wondered how to navigate those awkward money talks with your parents or save up for your dream wedding without breaking the bank? Well, we've got the inside scoop from none other than Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of the legendary Emily Post. In our recent chat, Lizzie gave us the 411 on handling tricky budget and family matters. Keep reading for some real talk on personal finance and family dynamics that you won't want to miss!

This is a really touchy question! I really respect the fact that parents are paying for the wedding and that this is something they really want to do. But we talk a lot to parents and remind them that it's really important to remember that this is the bride and groom's special day. So while some of their adult friends might be there -- people that the kids have grown up with -- it's really important that they remember that this isn't their party, but rather the biggest party they ever throw. It's important for the bride and groom to respect the fact that their parents are putting quite a large sum of money into their wedding, so we suggest expressing love for every idea and to take them into proper consideration. Couples should take the time to say, "Oh wow, I've never thought of doing that, I'm going to think about that." Really appreciate that your parents or future in-laws are giving you advice, but don't commit to anything yet without discussing it with your partner.

One of the first things we suggest couples do is to start out with a candid and respectful conversation about budget and expectations. This is a good way to find out from the get-go what it is that mom and dad are feeling about the wedding, and you can even say, "You know, it seems like it might be best for us to front the money ourselves and just have a smaller wedding. We really have a lot of ideas about what we like, and I wouldn't want you to feel like you were contributing to something and then not getting as much of a say." I think that that's the kind of conversation you want to have if you start feeling like the parents are becoming overbearing.

It's really important to have these conversations before anyone makes a financial commitment. That doesn't mean that just because mom and dad are throwing in $15,000 they automatically get their way. I think that if you do have those parents who are starting to dictate too much of what's going on, you need to sit down and say, "Hey mom/dad, I love your support and I am really grateful to have you involved in the wedding-planning process, however, I'm starting to feel like this is your wedding and not my wedding, and there are a number of things that I'm not interested in doing that I want to talk to you about because I feel like it's really hard to say no."

One of the first things I suggest couples do is open up a bank account that's going to be strictly for your wedding. That way, you're never crossing over into savings that you want to be able to count on after the wedding is over. I highly recommend Bank of America's mobile banking app, which allows you to use your mobile alerts to know exactly when you need to pay a vendor, or to look at your bank account to see what's pending and what's already been processed. That way you know what you haven't yet paid for. I think that that's a really smart way to handle it.

Consider grabbing a big bottle of wine because this is a difficult conversation to have! I find that a lot of the time when parents want to invite too many guests, it's important to say, "Mom, I appreciate that these members of the community would want to celebrate with us, but maybe we need to have a party at a different time that's a much more casual party for everyone, as opposed to inviting everybody to the wedding." I think that having a separate party at a later time is a nice way to celebrate the occasion with people who you aren't as close to. It can be awkward for them to be receiving an invitation and feel obligated to give a gift. Framing it that way with your parents might be helpful.

One of the first things you should talk about with both sets of parents is the division of the guest list. Is it going to be one-third groom's parents' friends and family, one-third bride's parents' friends and family, and one-third the couple's friends? Or are you going to try to divvy it up differently? It's important to set numbers for people...or your list is going to get bigger than you can imagine.