Research Says a Big Engagement Ring Means You're More Likely to Divorce

We've always believed that superficial things like the cost of your wedding or the size of your engagement ring don't say much about the state of your relationship. However, recent research by Andrew M. Francis-Tan and Hugo M. Mialon of Emory University suggests otherwise. Their study indicates that the cost of an engagement ring might actually correlate with the likelihood of divorce. This article delves into the intriguing findings and explores the possible reasons behind this phenomenon.

Researchers Francis-Tan and Mialon surveyed 3,000 men and women in the United States who had been in heterosexual marriages. They analyzed various demographic and relationship characteristics, such as age at marriage and whether the couples had children. The results revealed a surprising correlation between marriage duration and spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony.

Having no engagement ring and wedding expenses below $1,000 were associated with increased divorce rates.

Spending $8,000 or more on an engagement ring was associated with a decreased likelihood of divorce.

Spending between $2,000 and $4,000 on an engagement ring significantly increased the risk of divorce among the men surveyed. Specifically, the risk was 1.3 times greater compared to spending between $500 and $2,000.

High wedding attendance and having a honeymoon (regardless of its cost) were positively associated with longer marriage durations. This finding aligns with a National Marriage Project study that also concluded that high wedding guest attendance was linked to longer marriages.

The researchers suggest several reasons why a more expensive ring could lead to a higher likelihood of divorce:

Spending more on an engagement ring might indicate that the couple felt pressured to have a more expensive wedding than they could afford. This financial stress, coupled with the desire to maintain appearances, can strain the marriage. Women who received rings costing between $2,000 and $4,000 reported significantly more stress about wedding-related debt than those who received rings costing $500 to $2,000.

Couples who spend more on engagement rings and weddings might be trying to "keep up with the Joneses." This societal pressure can lead to unsustainable financial decisions, adding to the overall stress in the relationship. When the reality of debt and financial strain sets in, it can create conflicts that contribute to divorce.

Interestingly, the study found that rings costing over $8,000 were associated with a lower risk of divorce. The researchers did not offer theories on why this might be the case, but several possibilities could explain this counterintuitive finding:

Couples who can afford rings over $8,000 might generally have more financial stability and disposable income. This financial cushion could mitigate the stress and conflicts related to wedding expenses.

A very expensive ring could also symbolize a deeper level of commitment and seriousness about the relationship, potentially contributing to a stronger marital bond.

If your engagement ring cost falls between $2,000 and $4,000, there's no need to panic. Marriages succeed or fail for a myriad of reasons, and no single factor will determine your marital fate. However, if financial stress is affecting your relationship, here are some steps you can take to alleviate the strain:

Open communication about finances is crucial. If you and your partner are feeling the pressure to keep up appearances, it's important to discuss these concerns openly and honestly. Acknowledging the stress can be the first step toward resolving it.

Consider using a budgeting app to manage your expenses together. This can help you keep track of spending, set financial goals, and avoid unnecessary debt.

If financial issues are putting a significant strain on your marriage, it might be beneficial to consult a financial planner or a marriage counselor. These professionals can offer strategies and support to help you navigate financial challenges and strengthen your relationship.

The Emory University study provides fascinating insights into the relationship between engagement ring cost and divorce rates. While spending more on an engagement ring might initially seem like a good idea, it's important to consider the potential financial stress and societal pressures that come with it. Ultimately, the success of a marriage depends on open communication, financial stability, and mutual commitment. By addressing financial concerns head-on and prioritizing your relationship, you can build a strong, lasting marriage regardless of the cost of your engagement ring.