9 Things NOT to Say to a Bride on Her Wedding Day

Wedding season is coming up in just a few months, and that means you're going to be coming into close contact with many blushing brides real soon. And while you may think you're a master at small talk, weddings are sensitive subjects and the to-be-weds will probably be a little nervous as they prep for their walk down the aisle. So it's probably time to start preparing about what you'll say (and what you'll avoid saying) to her when the big day rolls around. But don't worry, Loverlies, we've got you covered. Here are 9 things you should definitely avoid saying to a bride on her wedding day. Photo by Rebecca Goddard Photography 1. "You're sure about this, right?" Uh, it's a little late to be asking that kind of question. Even if you're just joking, comments like this are totally inappropriate to ask a bride the DAY she's going to be walking down the aisle. Other words of warning to avoid? "Well you know 50% of couples divorce..." Mentioning the possible demise of her relationship is SO not okay on the day the bride is getting hitched. Keep the focus on the positive. 2. "Was this venue your first choice?" Questions like this come off as judgmental and condescending, even if you're seriously just curious. If you have any inquiries about the bride's choices, save them until after the celebrations are over and find a nice way to phrase them. Also avoid making comments like "I'm SO surprised you decided to wear your hair like that!" because, well, it's a little too late for the couple to make any changes when it's oh, THEIR WEDDING DAY. Keep the commentary to yourself if they made some decisions that seem questionable in your mind. Remember: if you don't have anything nice to say, it's best to just not say anything at all. 3. "[Enter fiance’s name] looks so nervous!" Just don't. The bride is probably trying to keep her nerves under control as she gets ready to tie the knot, and the last thing she needs to start worrying that her future spouse is getting cold feet. It's totally normal for the bride AND the groom to look like a bundle of nerves before they take the plunge. So leave well enough alone and just comment on how cute the couple looks instead. 4. "OMG. You look just like [insert friend's name here] did on her wedding day" Every bride works hard to plan a wedding that feels uniquely her (okay, and her fiancé). So she does NOT want to hear that someone else rocked her dress (even though she knows someone somewhere probably did), that someone else wore her shoes or did their hair the exact same way she did. Yes, it's inevitable, but it's not something brides really want to think about on their big day. She wants to feel like the single most beautiful blushing bride ever...so tell her THAT if you want to comment on her look. 5. "Ugh, I hate my dress. But this is YOUR day, so it's fiiiiine." If you're a bridesmaid, the wedding day is not the time to bring up your negative feelings about the dress the bride asked you to wear. Complaining about your dress on the day of the wedding is only going to (a) make you grumpy, (b) make the bride feel guilty, and (c) make both of you feel awkward about a situation that's too late to remedy at this point anyway. Even if the dress is awful, suck it up and smile. This isn't your day, so don't make it all about you! 6. "Don’t freak out, but [insert any big day disaster here]." Anytime you start a sentence with this phrase, the immediate reaction is going to be to freak out because you've already got the bride thinking about the worst case scenario. Instead of causing a panic if a problem arises, take care of the problem yourself or mention it if you think the bride NEEDS to know and come prepared with some proactive solutions. And keep in mind that saying "no one will even notice that little detail anyway" is not helpful. While it may be true (and seem like a nice thing to say), the couple actually spent a lot of time and money pulling the entire day together and they definitely want at least one person to notice ALL of their efforts! 7. "Um, why did you put me at THAT table?" Comments about the seating arrangements are not constructive. By the time you figure out where you'll be sitting during dinner, there's very little the couple or their wedding planner can do to make you happy. The seating arrangements were figured out weeks ago (and there are pretty escort cards to prove it). You also might want to avoid asking about the guest list. Why so-and-so wasn't invited is none of your business. Just be happy you made the cut and enjoy the food, the booze, and hit the dance floor as soon as possible. 8. "Your wedding will definitely be way better than your ex’s!" Sure, you may have the best of intentions when you make this remark, but no one wants to think about their ex on their wedding day. Plus, weddings are not a competition. You should never make the bride think juxtapose her big day against that of her ex, her sister or your mutual friend. Stick to complimenting the couple on how great of a job they did in pulling off the party of the year. 9. "On a scale of 1-10, how much are you freaking out right now!?" Let's all just agree that the bride is going to be feeling some serious feelings on her wedding day, okay? Good. Now that we've got that squared away, no one needs to ask the bride if she's nervous. We all understand the answer is YES. Instead, focus on helping her through any anxiety she's having by asking what you can do to help, filling up her champagne flute or turning on her favorite girly song and starting a dance party. As a bridesmaid or a guest, it's your job to help her enjoy the day!