9 Qualities That Let You Know Your Sibling's Partner Is a Keeper
29 Sep 2021 •2 min read
If you have brothers or sisters, you certainly want them to be happy, but you also want to get along with any new addition to your family. So, here are nine qualities you should definitely look for in your future siblings-in-law.
First and foremost, there needs to be love. And not just the can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you kind of love, but the forever kind. When she looks at your brother, her eyes soften; when he talks to your sister, there’s some real respect in his voice (even if they’re disagreeing). THAT’s how you know there’s love between them — love that’s honest and true.
Being a family means sticking together, in good times and in bad. If your sister’s partner knows how to back her up when she’s right and can defend you when she’s being a little irrational, well, he/she is definitely someone you want to welcome into the pack.
It’s important that your sibling’s future spouse has some depth, so find out what makes him or her tick. Does he love animals or cooking up new dishes? Does she live for traveling the world or running marathons? Someone who can set goals (big and small) and knows how to work hard to turn his/her dreams into reality will only enhance your sibling’s life.
Knowing how to have a good time is an important quality to have. Who doesn’t want to laugh through life? But the ability to have fun also comes in handy when things get tough; you want to know your brother is with someone who can help him shake things off when all he wants to do is break down.
The last thing you want is to see your sibling hurt by a lie, so make sure you ask questions over the course of the first few meetings to find out how open and forthcoming your sibling’s partner is. Of course, remember that there’s a difference between being nervous and completely covering something up!
The person your sister chooses to spend forever with should be capable of being her rock. The vows they’ll make mention being together “in good times and in bad,” so make sure your future sib-in-law actually understands what that means. He or she will need to know how and when to forgive, lead, and back off respectfully.
Anyone can pull off a grand gesture if given enough time and money, but it’s the little things that let you know how real things are. You just want to know that your brother’s partner will shower him with warmth and affection every day, even if there’s no apparent reason for it.
The sign of a solid relationship? When both people have their own separate interests. Sure, you want your sister and her beloved to have some things in common, but it’s also important that her partner has hobbies that don’t involve her. She shouldn’t have to give up herself just to be with him, and vice versa. Respect for autonomy is key.
Being generous isn’t just about the money; it’s also about the time, energy, and devotion someone brings to the table. Does your sibling feel important in the relationship? Does his partner make time to listen to him or to attend his boring work events? If so, your future sibling-in-law is definitely a keeper.