How to Figure Out Holiday Plans WITHOUT Starting a Fight
22 Nov 2022 •3 min read
Take two people's yearly holiday traditions then mix in family, friends, logistics, and potential hurt feelings, and you've kinda got a recipe for disaster, right? While it's never easy to be accommodating and diplomatic while navigating this tricky time of year, both you and your partner will need to compromise in order to make it through the holiday season. So, we've rounded up 8 ways to figure out your plans without starting a fight.
While discussing plans with your S.O. it's super important that you remain calm. Things can get heated when trying to figure out whose holiday plans to skip this season, but try not to take it personally. If you remain level-headed through your conversation, you'll be able to make more logistical and sound decisions.
Consider what the holiday means to your significant other.
Before making holiday plans, consider what this specific holiday or event means to your partner. If you know that your partner's family has a big gathering on Thanksgiving and yours doesn't even get together, then let your partner make the plans. Determining the importance of the holiday will be essential to making compromises.
Factor in vacation time allotted by your job.
It's important to remember how much vacation time you and your partner will have during the holiday season. If long distance travel is needed to accommodate your plans and you only get two days off, you might have to make some changes.
Determine the cost of your potential plans.
Make sure your holiday plans are on-budget! If you want to plan something that's extremely costly but your S.O. can't swing it, you might need to compromise.
Think about how the holiday plans will affect you or your partner's family and friends.
Will your partner's mother be absolutely devastated if you skip even one night of Hanukkah? Will your friends totally hate you if you miss their annual ugly sweater party? Don't forget to factor in other people's feelings when making plans. Remember, the holiday season is about spending time with family and friends -- it's not just about what you and your partner want.
See if there is a way to combine holiday plans.
Get creative! Perhaps your two friend groups would merge holiday parties for one big blowout, or you and your partner's families live close enough that you could do Christmas dinner with one group and dessert with the other. Instead of being stuck on your traditions, make sure you're open to the possibility of a hybrid holiday.
Reference future holiday plans.
If you plan to spend an upcoming holiday with your partner's family and friends, commit to spending the next holiday with your family (or maybe agree to alternate years). Try to be as equal and fair as possible when determining plans.
Embrace the holiday spirit.
This is a season to show graciousness and kindness, not to fight! Be kind and compassionate with each other, and making tough decisions will be that much easier.