First Christmas With Your Fiancé: Reality vs. Expectation

That moment hits you like a perfectly timed Hallmark movie plot: Hey, I have a fiancé! And Hey, I don’t have to be alone for the holidays this year! Cue a mental montage of Pinterest-perfect holiday moments: holding hands and walking through snow, sipping mulled wine by the fire, exchanging thoughtful gifts, and building snowmen that put Frosty to shame. Ah, the joys of a first Christmas together!

But buckle up, my merry friend, because reality has a funny way of knocking on the door like a caroler who forgot the lyrics. Here are seven classic holiday moments you think you’ll have with your fiancé—and what actually happens when you mix romance with seasonal chaos.

Expectation: Nat King Cole croons in the background, gingerbread cookies bake in the oven, and your fiancé magically produces mistletoe to catch you off guard for a picture-perfect kiss. It’s the kind of evening you’ll talk about in your wedding vows.

Reality: First, your fiancé doesn’t understand why the back of the tree needs decorations (as if it’s going to turn around and face the wall). Then, he breaks your cherished second-grade macaroni ornament. By the time you’re precariously balancing on a chair to place the star on top, the tree topples over like it’s auditioning for a disaster movie. You’ll laugh about it—eventually. For now, it’s more of a cry-laugh hybrid.

Expectation: Snuggled under a blanket, hot chocolates in hand, you’ll binge-watch all your holiday favorites by the glow of the fireplace. Maybe you’ll even squeeze in a Hallmark movie marathon for maximum holiday spirit.

Reality: You don’t have a fireplace. And if you think you’re going to get your fiancé to watch A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby, think again. He’ll endure the first 15 minutes, then suddenly need to “grab something from the car,” only to return two hours later with a bag of chips and zero apologies. Congratulations, you’re watching alone while texting your group chat about how “festive” this is.

Expectation: Having a fiancé means extra gifts! Thoughtfully wrapped treasures with perfect bows, just for you.

Reality: You do have more presents, but they’re wrapped in birthday paper because your fiancé doesn’t believe in buying separate rolls for different occasions. “It’s Jesus’ birthday, right?” he’ll reason. Also, prepare yourself for at least one gift that’s “practical,” like a set of car floor mats or a universal remote. Endearing? Sure. Glamorous? Not so much.

Expectation: You’ll emerge from the bathroom looking like a Victoria’s Secret Angel, complete with fluffy white trim and sultry red satin. Your fiancé will be so stunned he’ll forget how to speak.

Reality: You feel ridiculous before you even leave the bathroom. The Santa hat looks absurd, and the “sexy” stockings are cutting off your circulation. As you glance at the bathroom window, briefly considering escape, your fiancé is in the living room playing Call of Duty. Merry Christmas, indeed.

Expectation: You’ll channel your inner Don and Betty Draper, showing up arm-in-arm to a fancy party. He’ll look dapper in a suit, you’ll glide in wearing a glittering dress, and everyone will secretly hate how perfect you are together.

Reality: Halfway through curling your hair, your curling iron dies, so you settle for a messy bun and “strategic” hair clips. Nervous about making a good impression, you down a few too many glasses of wine and end up leading an impromptu karaoke session of All I Want for Christmas Is You. The good news? No one at the party will forget you. The bad news? Neither will Instagram Stories.

Expectation: Holding hands in matching mittens, you’ll glide across the rink in perfect harmony. Snowflakes will fall gently around you as a string quartet plays O Holy Night in the background. Afterward, you’ll sip hot chocolate and reminisce about how romantic it was.

Reality: You haven’t skated since that middle school field trip. Within five minutes, you’ve fallen three times and sprained something you didn’t know could bend that way. Meanwhile, your fiancé is trying to teach himself hockey moves and accidentally collides with a kid in a reindeer sweater. No one gets hot chocolate because you’re both limping to the car.

Expectation: Bundled up in scarves, you’ll stroll hand-in-hand through a winter wonderland of twinkling lights, stopping to admire your neighbors’ elaborate displays. Maybe you’ll even share a kiss under a streetlamp as Silver Bells wafts through the air.

Reality: It’s 12 degrees. Your nose is running, and your fiancé is shuffling along like a reluctant penguin. You both agree to speed-walk home and warm up with wine instead. Honestly, why did you think walking aimlessly in the freezing cold was romantic? Next year, you’ll just drive by the lights like normal people.

And Yet…

Despite the mishaps, the mismatched expectations, and the occasional bruised tailbone, there’s something magical about your first Christmas together. Sure, it’s not a Hallmark movie, but that’s what makes it fun. Life isn’t scripted, and neither is love. Whether you’re untangling Christmas lights or untangling a mess of expectations, you’ve got someone to share it with—and that’s what really matters.

So go ahead, laugh about the tree fiasco, make fun of his wrapping skills, and let yourself enjoy the beautifully imperfect moments. Because at the end of the day, nothing says “I love you” like breaking an ornament together and surviving to tell the tale.