How To Have Productive Money Conversations As A Couple

If you’re trying to maintain a peaceful relationship, discussing finances with your partner is probably a conversation you avoid at all costs. Money is a notoriously sensitive topic and it can be frightening to open up to someone you love about critical issues like poor spending habits, bad credit, or even debt. However, having those important conversations and establishing healthy financial habits with your partner is a monumental first step toward setting yourself up for success in the future.

To better understand what topics couples should discuss in order to have a productive conversation on finances, we’ll first look at some financially driven deal breakers. This year, Western & Southern Financial Group conducted a survey of 1,000 married Americans across various age groups on the money issues that led to the most arguments in their relationships. According to the survey, couples who fought the most frequently typically argued about salary, savings goals, strategies, and how to split their bills. While in the dating stage, having personal loans was the number one deal breaker among both men and women, followed by credit card debt and lack of financial literacy. Keeping  an open dialogue about finances with your partner is one of the most important ways to prevent future arguments or misunderstandings down the line.

Whether you’re just starting to get serious with your partner or have been married for a while and need help having the money talk, here are some ways you and your partner can have a productive conversation regarding your finances.

Before you can have a productive conversation with your partner, you’ll need to first address the pain points within your relationship that are hindering your communication and overall growth. Bringing these issues to the surface may not be easy, but it’s important that you and your partner lay all your cards on the table to identify the most pressing issues. This will encourage both of you to be honest about your own faults and also  identify a starting point for the conversation. If you’re having trouble deciding where to start, try answering the following questions:

Once you’re able to identify the pain points regarding how money is being handled in your relationship, you can now begin the process of working toward a resolution.  

Overspending is one of the most common issues couples face in their relationship. Whether your partner struggles with making excessive purchases or isn’t paying attention to how much money is being spent on certain items, overspending can quickly cause a rift between couples as it can potentially lead you into debt.

The best way to track your spending is to review the withdrawals on your account statements. If your grocery bill is much higher than it used to be, likely due to rising costs, then you’ll need to consider making changes to the items you purchase or the frequency at which you shop. If you’ve been spending excess money by ordering out, you can consider cooking at home instead.

The best way to determine what categories will need a major overhaul is to discuss with your partner what your financial goals are and how your current inflows and outflows of money can bring you closer to achieving them. Whether you have a goal of building an emergency savings or you want to put a specific amount aside to invest, you’ll need to make those goals clear to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Discussions are only productive if they can serve as a catalyst for change. Now that you and your partner have found the strength to have an understandably difficult conversation, you should build upon this momentum by creating a plan of action for your day to day lives.

One of the best ways you and your significant other can prepare to make real life changes is by utilizing money vaults. When you open a SoFi Checking and Savings account, you have access to the Vault feature which is an extension of your savings account that is earmarked for your specific goals. Although you can’t spend money stashed away in any of your vaults, you can transfer the money you’ve accrued back into your savings account after you’ve reached your goal. Acting as a second level of security to prevent you from dipping into your savings, these vaults can be of great use in managing your finances. Additionally, the Progress Percentage feature allows you to see the progress you’re making in each vault until you hit your goal which can increase your sense of achievement.

With the option of creating up to 20 vaults, you and your partner can use these important money conversations to determine how many goal vaults you want to have and how much money you’ll need to contribute in order to make substantial financial progress.

Let’s face it – sometimes knowing where to start or what to focus on can be challenging for couples who are new to the process of taking control of their finances. Not everyone has the same level of financial literacy which is why it can be more beneficial for some couples to receive professional advice as opposed to trying to navigate their issues themselves. Scheduling your money conversations around a financial planning session is a great way to maximize the productivity of your discussion. Not only will you have a guide as you figure out what challenges you need to overcome in creating a financially stable relationship but you’ll also have someone who can answer your questions and explain complex terminology. You can receive personalized support on setting and reaching goals, creating a budget, saving for the future, and more. 

The first step in building a more financially secure future as a couple is choosing to incorporate more frequent money conversations. Knowing where you are and what you want to accomplish will get you and your partner on the right footing, but what is equally as important is utilizing the right tools and products to help make the process easier. Financial issues can quickly become overwhelming and lead to arguments that may set your relationship back rather than forward. Making smart choices about where you keep your money can make the process of achieving financial stability and security even easier, especially as you monitor your progress and access features that alleviate the headache around saving money.