How-to

How to Talk about Your Engagement Without Turning It Into a Competitive Sport

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Recently engaged? It's time to learn that there's a right way AND a wrong way to talk about your new bling. After your partner pops the question, you have EVERY right to be excited for yourself. But if you're worried that those around you may grow weary of hearing you talk about your engagement, we've got some tips for how to share your good news without going overboard.

1. Have a short version ready. 

While certain friends and family members may want to hear EVERY detail of your proposal story (from what you were wearing to whether or not your partner got down on one knee), realize that there will be some people who just don’t. After the initial excitement of your engagement settles down, think through the details of what happened and pull out the highlights. The condensed version should be like the CliffsNotes: focus on the who, what, where, when, and how.

2. Know your audience.

Engagements and marriage can be a touchy subject for some people, especially if a friend just ended a relationship or is as single as can be (and NOT loving it). So keep in mind who you’re talking to when you start to gush about your good news. If you’re talking to your cousin who has been waiting for YEARS for her partner to propose, don’t start complaining about how your engagement ring is just too big. There’s no quicker way to get your friends and family to tune out than with not appreciating their situation.

3. Say hello first. 

Whatever you do, do NOT start every conversation with a comment about your recent engagement or a flash of your new bling. Greet your friends, hug your sister, ask your co-worker how her weekend was BEFORE you start raving about how head-over-heels in love you are. The more low-key you are about heading down the engagement chatter rabbit hole, the more eager your nearest and dearest will be to talk about it. Play hard to get and you might just be invited to discuss it to your heart’s content

4. Acknowledge when you’re being repetitive. 

At some point, you’re going to be asked to tell your engagement story by someone who hasn’t heard it yet. But you might just find that when you are, you’re also surrounded by people who have heard your tale a bunch of times already. Don’t be embarrassed to share your story again, but take the time to acknowledge that your other friends’ tolerance. Show you appreciate how they’ve been kind enough to listen to you over and over…and then gab away!

5. Celebrate your friendships. 

Your fiancé status is definitely something to #humblebrag about, and you should absolutely bask in all your newly engaged glory, but instead of making this happy time all about you, take the time to thank those who have supported you along the way. Whether you’re out with your girlfriends celebrating the good news, enjoying your engagement party, or having a casual coffee date with your sister, toast your loved ones for all they’ve done and all they will do. Remember that you’re going to need their help throughout the wedding planning process and beyond, whether it’s emotionally, financially or physically. Share how excited you are to go through this next chapter of your life WITH them by your side and get on with the celebrations.

6. Don’t forget about everyone else. 

Even though you deserve to have your moment in the spotlight during this happy time in your life, don’t forget that everyone else has a life, too. At some point in the conversation, turn the focus back on them and ask about what’s been going for them. The less self-absorbed you seem, the more naturally excited everyone else will be for you and your new fiancé!
Kayla Barr
About The Author
Writer and Storyteller.
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