Nick Viall Defends Sharing Bachelorette Sexcapade

Like many "Bachelorette" fans, we were stunned when Nick kissed (and then some) and told during the show's season finale. Now he's sharing his side of the story in a new piece he published yesterday on Sean Lowe's blog, Patheos. Like many "Bachelorette" fans, we were stunned when Nick kissed (and then some) and told during the show's season finale. Now he's sharing his side of the story in a new piece he published yesterday on Sean Lowe's blog, Patheos. From his post:

"In the 'After the Final Rose' episode, I had no intention of confronting Andi with my now infamous question about why she had sex with me. I figured she had been conflicted about what must’ve been a tough decision...In my mind, I went back to that night in the fantasy suite. Though she couldn’t tell me that she loved me, I’d told her in no uncertain terms how I felt. I loved her. This was no fling for me. As far as I was concerned, we’d be engaged in a few days. To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it...

Whatever your beliefs about sex, we live in a very sexual world. To me what’s most important is that the two people involved have a clear understanding of what sex means to the other person. If the emotional attachment to sex isn’t equal, sex can be hurtful. Consequently, it should be treated with the greatest amount of respect.

Sometimes people laugh off any emotional damage that sex can do to guys. The boys-will-be-boys mentality suggests the majority of men are really just looking to add another 'notch on their belt.' Because of this unfair—inaccurate—stereotype, it’s often considered unmanly for a man to speak about the emotional repercussions of sex. But I’m here to attest that men fall in love just as hard as women do and that sex can be just as powerful to a man as it is to a woman. Sex, when enjoyed in the right context, is a wonderful way to solidify a relationship. But when expectations aren’t the same for both partners, it can be devastating."

While we're not crazy about his decision to reference private intimacy on national television (though some would argue that's a risk you take when you sleep with someone in the context of a reality TV show), he makes a lot of good points in his post. If two people have different expectations of what sex means to a relationship, the results can be heartbreaking.

We think it's very brave of him to talk about his feelings about the emotional side of sex so openly, as it goes against everything our culture expects of single men. (Seriously, would anyone even bat an eye if the roles were reversed and a woman was saying she got emotionally attached after sex? Doubtful.) By breaking the unspoken "Bachelor" rule—what happens in the fantasy suite stays in the fantasy suite—it seems that Nick is making reality TV a little more real.