6 Things to Consider When Talking to Your Bridesmaids About Their Wedding Look

Every bride-to-be wants to look and feel their very best on their wedding day which means putting in the extra time and effort to look as perfect as can be, but what about the bridesmaids? Not only do your bridesmaids deserve to look and feel beautiful as they stand beside you, but it's important that their wedding day looks align as closely to your vision as they can, without anyone feeling hurt in the process. If you're not sure how to walk the line between asking your bridesmaids to look more presentable and requesting that they get an extreme makeover, take a look at our top 6 tips for talking to your girls about their wedding look.

While most women are aware that they'll be expected to look pulled-together when they agree to be a bridesmaid, having all the details in advance will be beneficial in helping them decide if your requests are something they can commit to. Tell your girls what you're thinking about for hair and makeup (and let them know how much it's going to cost!) as soon as possible. If you’re open to ideas, this is also a great time to receive feedback from your bridesmaids on possible alternatives that may work well or even exceed your vision for their wedding day looks. This will leave no room for excuses or mishaps and prevent any future drama if anyone suddenly gets pink hair extensions or a neon yellow shellac manicure right before the wedding.

Keep in mind that asking someone to change their hair color, cut or grow their locks, cover up tattoos, or get a tan is a big ask and can more than likely hurt even the strongest person’s feelings. You're basically saying, "How you look on a regular basis is not good enough for my wedding." While your bridesmaids may already expect that their Sunday best might still miss the mark, you never want to assume that they’ll be ready to hear that. Before you start listing off all the changes that you’d like them to make, sit your girls down and explain to them your intentions, remind them how beautiful they are, how much you care about them and don’t want to hurt them, and then express that their wedding day looks are only meant to align with your vision of your dream wedding.

Asking that your friend not cut her hair so she can rock the updo you love might not seem like a huge deal, but it probably means she doesn't get to look how she wants for quite a while before your wedding. That friend who wants to fit into a smaller dress and is dieting until the big day doesn’t need to be reminded of their progress or the time left to hit their goal. Be respectful of the efforts that your bridesmaids are putting into meeting your requirements and silence the urge to nag about their looks as you approach the wedding day. Instead, set a monthly check in date to let everyone update you on their wedding look goals while also giving you a chance to voice your concerns without being overbearing.

Sure, it's not all about them, but being a bridesmaid can make a gal feel very much on display – from the long walk down the aisle, to the toasts, to the pictures, she knows that she'll have more eyes on her than if she were a guest. Take the time to sit you’re your bridesmaids and get a feel for what makes them feel beautiful. Focus on helping them feel their best before you get carried away with your own plans. You can reference pictures where their hair looked really nice for an event or a day when their makeup looked extra flawless and use them to help set achievable and realistic beauty goals.

If you aren’t aiming to have one uniform look for all of your bridesmaids, then give your girls options they can choose from that already have your stamp of approval. You can create a Pinterest board with all of the potential hairstyles, makeup styles, outfits, and shoes that they can choose from and help them build their own unique looks. If you have bridesmaids who want to look more modest or some who want to show off more of their figure, give them options for their dress styles that will leave everyone feeling comfortable and confident. You can recommend products for covering tattoos, tanning salons for anyone needing a tan, or regular beauty salons for anyone who needs to get their hair, skin, or nails in shape before the big day.

Asking your girls to make any change to their appearance or outfit isn’t going to be cheap. Unless you’re willing to cover the costs for the changes you’re asking them to make or for the purchases they have to make to create the look you want, be mindful that everyone has a different budget they can work with. Remind your girls from the start you don’t want anyone spending money they don’t have to get themselves together for your wedding. Keep an open line of communication open with everyone individually so they can voice their concerns to you without making a spectacle of themselves in the group chat. Finances are a very sensitive subject so be sure to be extra empathetic and considerate of their financial capabilities and DO NOT discuss anyone’s finances with the other bridesmaids.

Discussing your bridesmaids’ appearances is not an easy conversation to have and can have negative long-term effects if not done carefully. You always want to check yourself before approaching your girls by making sure you’re in the right headspace to talk to them about sensitive issues. Never have a conversation when you’re feeling upset, overwhelmed, angry or frustrated, and never resort to name calling or comparing them to others even in a joking manner when talking about their appearance. Although your wedding day is all about you and your soon-to-be spouse, your bridesmaids are still important people in your life who need to be treated with respect. Be open to compromise and be willing to help them look their best while catering to your requests and everything should go smoothly come the wedding day.